How to REALLY Win Friends and Influence People: The Mastermind Playbook Edition

 I want to focus on some key factors that determine the success of your mastermind group.

 

In my opinion, the two most critical factors are the people you surround yourself with, and their attitudes. This includes your own attitude. The wrong mindset and approach can quickly derail online mastermind groups. 

 

It’s All How You Look at It…Seriously!

 

We’ve touched on looking at the world through different lenses in a previous blog. Today, I want to dive deeper by discussing the differences between a mindset of scarcity or abundance. 

 

We all have a choice in how we view the world. We can see it as “dog eat dog” where if you win, the other person or party has to lose. Or we can see it as a place where there’s enough to go around and everyone can have a spot at the table.

 

The choices you and your mastermind members make regarding how you view competition, cooperation, and opportunity are crucial. These choices can make or break the wonderful things a well-guided mastermind can create. And I’m not talking about things for solely those enjoying your advice or business coaching services. 

 

If you and your members see the world as an abundant place, just imagine the ripple effect that would have on your friends, families, and communities!

 

But it’s not always easy, is it? Now more than ever, we’re immersed in competition. From stock markets to football stadiums, the goal is to be THE winner. When there’s only one winner, there are a lot of losers. It doesn’t always have to be that way…

 

Discover a new and improved way of seeing the world and running your business mastermind with The Mastermind Playbook!

 

Think Win-Win

 

I’ve recently been re-reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Within this masterpiece on development, Covey advises readers to think “Win-Win.” This simply means that in any situation, there’s usually a way for both parties to get what they want. 

 

Sometimes, each party is able to get an even better outcome than what they originally sought. In order for this to occur, each party has to first seek to understand what the other party truly wants.

 

That’s easier said than done, in most cases. Since we’re so bent on winning at all costs, we typically spend the first few stages of any encounter making sure everyone else knows what WE want. We long to be understood first and foremost. But, leading a mastermind and getting the most out of others takes a different approach.

 

Seek First to Understand, THEN to be Understood

 

Seeking first to understand is a surefire way to make sure you really get what the other person feels or thinks. Beyond that, it shows them you actually care about them as a person. There’s no better way on this Earth to help others than to prove you want what’s best for them. 

 

Once others sense this, you’ll both be under each other’s influence. This allows you to make significant strides towards a mutually beneficial outcome.  

 

When a member comes to you for guidance, you can bet they have their own goals. They also have their own beliefs about their worth and whether they can achieve those goals. It’s up to you as a leader to dig deep and get a firm grasp on what they’re really trying to say. This produces massive trust, clarity, and confidence between you and your members!

 

Do you see how understanding helps you achieve more? It’s the same as how you can gain a deeper understanding of running a successful mastermind group, using The Mastermind Playbook.

 

Be an Empathetic Listener

 

An excellent way to do this is by being present for the conversation with those most important to you. To show you what I mean, I have a personal story to share.

 

Years ago I would regularly go up to Bob Warren's place in Hardin, Kentucky. Bob was my spiritual mentor, and I would help him get some of his buildings into shape. At the time, Bob had a young son named Benjamin.

 

Benjamin would come up to his dad and ask him a question. Bob would put down his tools or he'd sit down on a bench and say, “What is it Benjamin?” Benjamin would ask him the question, then Bob would explain to him what he was doing or he'd show him how to do it. This went on week after week while I was there. 

 

I pulled him aside one day and I said, “Bob, I have to ask you a question. Every time Benjamin comes up to you, you put your tools down and you go over to the bench and you sit down and say, ‘Yes Benjamin, what is it?’ Why do you do that?” 

 

Bob didn’t understand my question. I responded that I’d never seen a dad take that kind of quality time with a son.

 

Bob said, “My goodness! What could be more important than my son?!”

 

That made such an impression on me. 

 

Bob took the time to deeply listen, and make sure his son was heard and understood. 

 

Benjamin's now 22 years old. He’s one of the finest young men I know, he's got the greatest manners, a thriving business, and a great heart! He knows how to do anything, and it's because his dad took the time to teach him and listen to him

 

Do you see the difference we can make when we seek first to understand? See the influence and impact you can have on somebody when you don’t push your views on them?

 

If you want to learn this and more to further your mastermind efforts, I invite you to check out The Mastermind Playbook. It’s filled with helpful resources on setting up a mastermind, attracting the right members, and of course, leading them to greatness with the right conversations.